Monotonism...

What to say about my life...?

Stuck in a nine to 5 job, in a small office with no lunch time outside. I'm stuck in a 10 x 5 meters room in a day. Sometimes in a good day, I finished all my assignments, feel inspired, and keep smiling. But when the bad days come, I feel so useless for being there, sleepy all the time, and all I can think about is holiday.

Yes... I now experience what so called a boring life, literally. This is not a circumstances I'm looking for when I'm no longer myself. When I'm now searching for who is this person I wanna be.

But I can't choose, right? It's not like I can't learn anything from this job. It's just I need much more excitement in my life now. Somewhere I feel secure and safe. Somewhere, I know that I am smiling from the bottom of my heart.

Why do I keep feel unsafe? Like walking on a thin glass that can break anytime. Like sleeping and afraid tomorrow is coming. Afraid. For the future.

And tell me... how a phrase "Life for the present" is going to help me?

Sigh...

Even I don't recognize who I am anymore... Do you think you know me better..?