The questions I can't answered yet...

I had an amazing week full with its ups and downs. Started with my responsible feeling that I need to as soon as possible, an opportunity which came very suddenly, hard working times, graduation, then... rejection, and mistakes I made.

Between happy and not so happy times, I find myself have to face this two questions. First, "do you really want to be an interior designer?" and second, "what carrier do you want to pursue?"

And, I still have no idea how to answer those.

I have these thoughts while I did my final projects for last few months... that I took this major, finally just to proof something, that I don't meant to be an interior designer.

Silly thoughts actually, after all those negotiations with my parents. My parents are conventional one, they only thought one major when it comes to college, economy. So, it was really hard to convince them. Fyi, there's almost no one in my family took any design major, just explained design to my mother is really hard.

It's not like I really into interior design at that time. I just merely like it, at least the "surface" of interior design. If I think again about it now, maybe I just want to be different, not a "regular" economy major. I just feel like, economy will be too easy for me, and will be so boring. (forgive me for being an arrogant bit*h =P)

But like everyone say, there's always blessing in disguise. If not because I took this path, maybe I will never realize that there's another world called design world. In this world, everything is subjective, everything can be beautiful and ugly at the same time, and 2+2 maybe not equals 4. I have met bunch new people with different dreams. Some of them just dedicated their life to make something beautiful. And that kind of people just awesome.

In not so easy way, I have broaden my world. I learned so many things and know better. And maybe, that's what matter.

Not about if I meant to be an interior designer or not. But what have I learned during those period. And with those lessons, I should be grateful for having more choices.

It's too early for me to answered those questions. How can I decide if I want to be an interior designer or not if I only know very little about it. So for now, I will walk through this path, to learn more and give myself time to figure out the answers.

And of course, I'll try not to let down any opportunity which come to me. Because I know there will be some. I'll make mistakes, that's for sure, but I'll learn and learn again.

I'll fall and bounce back again. Just the way it should be.

^^

Free????

Argh.... setelah sekian lama kebebasan itu dinanti-nanti, rasanya memang semanis yang dibayangkan, tapi ternyata tidak berlangsung lama.... hiks...

Senin
Sidang tugas akhir, seharian di kampus, pulang dengan emosi tidak menentu, tidak percaya semua sudah selesai, tidur.

Selasa
Hibernasi, tidur seharian.

Rabu
Kembali ke kampus, mengurus ini itu walau tidak sesuai rencana.

Kamis
Nonton dan jalan-jalan di mal, menunaikan misi yang sudah dicanangkan.

Jumat
Mulai khawatir tentang kerjaan, pemasukan, dan masa depan....

Argghhh.....!!!

Bahkan kebebasan itu seminggu saja sudah hambar rasanya. Rencana leha-leha sampai wisuda terlupakan sudah.

Perasaan bertanggung jawab yang menyebalkan itu yang jadi alasannya. Sudah lulus dari kuliah empat setengah tahun, dengan biaya yang tidak sedikit, kemudian diakhiri dengan tugas akhir yang juga biayanya bukan kecil, rasanya malu sekali minta uang saku dari orang tua, padahal predikat lulus sudah di pundak.

**well, belum secara resmi lulus sih, tapi kira-kira seperti itu..**

Hati kecil berkata.... I need to work, I need income, I need money. Entah harus merasa senang atau sedih. Senang karena mungkin ini pertanda saya tambah sedikit dewasa dan mulai bertanggung jawab, sedih karena sebagian (besar) diri saya masih ingin main-main. =P

Hhh.... I still have a long way to go. Masih belum mau kerja kantoran, ingin menjadi freelance untuk sementara. Sedang banyak maunya, tapi semoga semua bisa tercapai. Hihihi...

Jadi.... Kerjaan...datanglah padaku!! hehehehe....

Free it is...!!

Pertama-tama, saya mau bilang.... "be careful for what you wish for.." Karena memang itu bisa jadi kenyataan.

Saya berharap bisa sidang hari pertama, kalau bisa jadi orang pertama. Harapan itu muncul karena sudah benar-benar ingin terbebas. Tapi ketika menyadari, sepertinya tidak sempat selesai nih kalau sidang hari pertama, uuppsss.... keluarlah jadwal sidang, dan jadilah seperti yang diinginkan.

Hihihi.... but I must thank God. Karena memang itu yang terbaik buat saya. Bayangkan andai bukan hari pertama, maka saya mungkin masih mengerjakan TA dengan tetes-tetes terakhir keringat, darah, dan air mata (aduh lebai...=P). Kalau saya bukan giliran pertama, maka saya akan merasakan kegugupan dan takut yang dirasakan oleh teman-teman yang lain. Bahkan saya tidak sempat merasa takut karena semua serba cepat.

And I thank God, karena itu sudah selesai. Hihihi.... And I'm anticipating next challenge!!

Nah... untuk misi-misi yang akan dilakukan setelah sidang...

1. Hibernasi (sudah tidur kira-kira 10 jam hari ini, walau masih kurang, tapi sudah lumayan mengembalikan fungsi tubuh ke normal, hehehe...)
2. Baca fanfic (perlu cari source baru lagi, hehehe...)
3. Movies (sudah ada rencana =P)
4. Mal 2 mal (idem)
5. Beach time! (harus menunggu semua selesai sidang dunk...)

Tambahan misi lagi...

1. Driving lesson
2. Buat paspor
3. Membereskan sisa-sisa masa kuliah

Hehehe....wish all can be done in January. And people, contact me please if you need an interior designer. ^^

It's getting closer!!!

Seminggu, dua minggu paling lama, dan.....terbebaslah aku dari deraan kuliah empat setengah tahun!!

Hehehe...

I just need to think positively about the most stressed out weeks in my life. That the end is near. And after that, I can finally smell the air of freedom (at least until I have to think about work and stuff, but hey.... it's another post to talk about... =P)

Seminggu, dua minggu paling lama..... dan bisa mulai melakukan misi-misi yang membahagiakan.... Kyaa..... kyaaa.....

Need your all hopes and prays so I can pass this peacefully, not with too much tension etc. I'm fine with average-good result. Just...peace in my mind. Okay??

See you when I see you... ^o^