The questions I can't answered yet...

I had an amazing week full with its ups and downs. Started with my responsible feeling that I need to as soon as possible, an opportunity which came very suddenly, hard working times, graduation, then... rejection, and mistakes I made.

Between happy and not so happy times, I find myself have to face this two questions. First, "do you really want to be an interior designer?" and second, "what carrier do you want to pursue?"

And, I still have no idea how to answer those.

I have these thoughts while I did my final projects for last few months... that I took this major, finally just to proof something, that I don't meant to be an interior designer.

Silly thoughts actually, after all those negotiations with my parents. My parents are conventional one, they only thought one major when it comes to college, economy. So, it was really hard to convince them. Fyi, there's almost no one in my family took any design major, just explained design to my mother is really hard.

It's not like I really into interior design at that time. I just merely like it, at least the "surface" of interior design. If I think again about it now, maybe I just want to be different, not a "regular" economy major. I just feel like, economy will be too easy for me, and will be so boring. (forgive me for being an arrogant bit*h =P)

But like everyone say, there's always blessing in disguise. If not because I took this path, maybe I will never realize that there's another world called design world. In this world, everything is subjective, everything can be beautiful and ugly at the same time, and 2+2 maybe not equals 4. I have met bunch new people with different dreams. Some of them just dedicated their life to make something beautiful. And that kind of people just awesome.

In not so easy way, I have broaden my world. I learned so many things and know better. And maybe, that's what matter.

Not about if I meant to be an interior designer or not. But what have I learned during those period. And with those lessons, I should be grateful for having more choices.

It's too early for me to answered those questions. How can I decide if I want to be an interior designer or not if I only know very little about it. So for now, I will walk through this path, to learn more and give myself time to figure out the answers.

And of course, I'll try not to let down any opportunity which come to me. Because I know there will be some. I'll make mistakes, that's for sure, but I'll learn and learn again.

I'll fall and bounce back again. Just the way it should be.

^^